if this video is super vague and confusing, that's because that's exactly what my mind feels like. We're vibing and we're freaking out at the same [Music] time. [Music] Hello, first and foremost, I would like to say, I really hope that this microphone is microphon because they have been jackhammering the street outside for like three months, and I can hear it in my room, so I'm really hoping you can't hear it, or else what the did I buy this microphone for. I am coming at you live. I'm cleaning my glasses, full transparency. The coffee that y'all just saw me make was my first coffee. I did, in fact, drink said Co. No, it's so loud outside. I'm going to be upset. The coffee that I just made was my first coffee, and full transparency, I did drink it in 3 minutes, which may be a record. I usually babysit my coffees so hard for some reason, but no, not today. I didn't have any coffee yesterday, and I woke up with

a raging headache because of it. I did drink that in literally 3 minutes. I haven't had anything to eat yesterday. It's the morning so it went straight to my veins. And if y'all know me, which I think a good portion of you do, love y'all, you know my thing with coffee. I, well, I love it. I have coffee every single day. Usually I can drink three double shot lattes without feeling a thing. But when I'm doing it first thing in the morning quickly and with no food in my stomach, it actually does give me a little spark, a little bit of energy. And that, that's what it's doing right now. This is my second and I'm already halfway done. And I want a third. Like I'm, I'm having fun. That's not the point of this video, but I just wanted to say that because I actually have a good bit of energy right now. I just want to chat with y'all today. And typically I do this kind of thing on my podcast. I haven't just sat down and chatted on my YouTube.

channel in a really long time. Honestly, since I started my podcast, because that's what I made the podcast for. By the way, if you didn't know, I have a podcast. It's called Digital Diary with Hannah Alise. The link is always down in the description to listen to that, but that's usually where I go to just dump out all of my thoughts. But today, I really wanted to sit and talk to a camera. I want to feel like we're on FaceTime. I haven't just done like a little FaceTime chat with you guys on YouTube in a long time, and I miss it so much. It just feels, I don't know how to explain it, it makes me feel comforted when I do this, even though I'm literally sitting in my room right now by myself, talking to a camera. I know that somebody out there is watching this and is probably going to relate. A lot of people are probably going to relate to what I want to talk about today because it's something we're all experiencing.

think I've really been struggling with this lately, and I know that I'm not the only one. And I know that there's probably a lot of you guys, if y'all are around the same age as me, that are feeling this too. I want to tell you that you're not alone. I know I'm not alone, you aren't alone. We're all in this together, you guys. We are all at the same time individually dealing with the same thing, and that thing is simply being in your 20s. Why the is being in your 20s so challenging? I actually know why it is. Lately, I have been thinking a lot about how confusing your 20s are. I'm 24, I'm going to be 25 in April, so I'm like nearing my mid-20s. 24, mid-20s, what is the deal? I have never had so much fun and so much growth, but I've also never been so confused and have so many questions about my life, my path, my career. What the are we supposed to be

doing no one is here to tell us what it is we're supposed to be doing. No one's here to tell us if what we're doing is right or not. It's literally all up to us, which is great, don't get me wrong. I love having that freedom, but it's also, it can really f with me because I don't know if what I'm doing is the right thing. And I'm in a period right now of my life where I feel like I'm having an early quarter-life crisis. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I should be doing. I don't know if what I am doing is the right thing. I'm feeling not completely fulfilled with my. I don't know, it's hard 'cause I don't want to say that I don't feel fulfilled in my life because there are so many things my life that are fulfilling me and that make me feel full and warm. There's also so many question marks. It's truly your 20s from what I've experienced so far is a

combination of what the is going on, and I love this. I've been feeling very uncertain about what I'm doing, what I'm doing in my day-to-day, what I'm doing with my career. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing the right thing, and sometimes I feel like I should be doing something else completely, or I should be doing more of something, or I need to do this, this, and this, and it's just like there's. It would really be helpful if somebody could just straight up tell me exactly what I need to do to make myself feel inspired, fulfilled, and like I'm on track with where I should be in my career, and all the that's the other thing, where should I be, where are we, any of us supposed to be. I knew that I shouldn't have sat down and started talking with literally no plan because I would end up rambling, but this is just the way that my mind has been working lately. Your 20s in general are such a formative period and a period of so much growth, and it's

a period where we're supposed to be figuring out what we like, what we want to do. We're trying new things, we're learning new things, we're getting established in our adult lives. Like this is the period of transition from childhood into adulthood. It feels like in your 20s and there's so much fun to be had, but there's also so much to figure out and it's overwhelming to figure out all of that at the same time. And then there's the aspect of feeling like you have to figure things out right now. I don't know if that's just me. I just don't think that it is just me, but I know that it is something that I struggle with a lot. When I have a question or I'm feeling uncertain about something, or I feel like I need to make a change or pivot in some way, I feel like I have to figure out the solution right now or else I'm losing precious time. Oh, hold on, Charlie. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. There's a candle there.

didn't mean that. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I love you. It feels like a fire drill right now. Everything right now. And if I'm not, I'm behind. Or I'm not doing enough. And I know that that's not true. Everyone has their own pace in life. Everyone has their own Journey, their own trajectory. But I can't help but just feel like because I don't feel like I have my [ ] together that I'm behind. I actually have this book that I got ages ago and I started reading it. I think I need to continue. The Defining Decade. It's literally all about being in your 20s. I need to like actually read this for real. I'm going to do that after this. But I just. It's hard to even put into words what I'm thinking and feeling about this period of my life because it's jumbled in my head. So of course just saying it out loud it's going to sound jumbled too. I just feel like a question mark. Please let me know if you

guys are feeling the same way. If you're in your 20s, what the is going on? And also, if you are not in your 20s and you're older, let me know if this, if everyone's supposed to feel this way or if things are going to work out or what I should do. Like, what do we do the situation that I'm in right now that's kind of prompted this existential crisis almost. I don't know what I'm doing. I have something that I'm doing, but it's not the same anymore. Things are changing as they always do, but I don't know if I can keep up. I don't know if this is the right thing for me. If I'm being completely honest, I just don't feel fulfilled right now. I think I need something new. I need something a little different to add something to my life. I don't know. I feel very one-dimensional, and I want to do something else, but I don't know what. I don't know what that is. I'm trying to.

figure it out, and I feel like I have to figure it out right now or in the next like 24 hours. And that's what I've been dealing with the last probably, I mean, I say a few days, but this has been a thought in my head for months, and I've just been trying to figure it out and figure out pinpoint what the issue is, but I don't know. And then with each option of new things that I could do, I think about every single implication and every single thing that will happen with the rest of my life if I pick that thing. And it's just I can't stop thinking. I feel like I have to have a handle on all these things: my work life overall, what I want to do in my career, the progression if I'm on the right path, and then also my social life maintaining friendships, and then also love life, relationship life, which I don't have one, but then I'm like, okay, I'm almost in my mid-20s. I know that that's not old, obviously, and I know that

I have plenty of time, but it feels like since I don't have a single clue right now that I'm not going to have a solid whatever anytime soon. So then I'm like, okay, but I want, how do I achieve everything I want to achieve? What is my next step? How do I know if it's right? It's funny though because my mind is telling me these things, but out loud I tell people, I give advice, being like, okay, everyone has their own path, you can't, you know, force anything, what's meant for you will come to you. I know that, but my mind also is like, well, well, maybe that applies to other people, my mind saying this, maybe that applies to other people, but it doesn't apply to you. You need to figure your [__] out right now, and if you don't figure your [__] out right now, you're, you're going to be forever. This is your time, you're already halfway through your 20s when you're supposed to have a grip on your life, and you don't, babe.

don't so get it together, but I can't. I don't know how, and I know that the only way to find out how is to just do something, trial and error it pretty much. But then I'm like, I don't want to fail. I'm terrified of failure, which is funny because I'm a human being, and everyone's going to fail because nobody's perfect, so it's part of life. But I just cannot stomach it. Like the thought of putting so much. And that's kind of where I'm at right now, hardly. I feel like I'm succeeding in some aspects of my life, and then in other aspects, I feel like I'm failing, and I'm terrified of the parts where I feel like I'm failing because I feel like I'm losing control. And honestly, I know that I have control over my own life, but it sometimes feels like I don't. It feels like things are just spiraling, and I'm just like at the mercy of whatever life decides to do, which again, I know isn't true. This is so

like I really hope somebody else can relate to the way that my mind is thinking right now. But I'm at the point in my 20s that I am so confused. I'm so confused. What is true? What is the truth? What do I do? How do I make myself feel fulfilled? What is missing? How do I fill that? What if I'm not successful? What if I never figure it out? And I know what some of you may be thinking, like calm down, great, that would be awesome, awesome to do, but I don't know how to do that. I went to this event last night and they were doing an aura reading, and they told me to sit down and put my hands on these little sensor thingies, and then they said think about nothing, like just don't think about anything, and I was like, what? But then I'm just thinking about thinking about nothing. What? How do I turn my mind off? Oh, I honestly just want to scrap this entire video. I have no idea what I'm saying. This is the thing too, like I get

an idea that I want to talk about something, and then I start talking about it, and then I think about the fact that I'm probably making no sense, and that it's just annoying, and I'm like, this is not, this does not need to go on the internet, this is not worthy of going on the internet, who gives a like, why am I taking up space talking about whatever, like I feel bad for everybody in my life that I keep talking about this with because I'm, I feel like I sound like a broken record and I sound annoying, but I don't know what to do, and talking through my thoughts and feelings out loud helps me because taking things out of my brain and like making them real by speaking them into the world helps me to reflect more on everything, which is why I turned the camera on right now, and I'm doing this. Lately, it's been consuming me how uncertain I feel in so many different areas of my life, and I just want to know if it's going to get better, if I'm going to figure it out again.

play freaking Devil's Advocate. That could be a fun challenge and an opportunity to figure, okay, but I don't want to challenge like. I just want to know for once that something's going to be okay and that things are going to work out, and then I'm going to be on the right path. Or if I'm not on the right path, find the right path. But then again, what is the right path? What makes something the right path? I don't think there's only one thing that could be right, but I have to put myself out there and make myself uncomfortable and try different things to find out what my path is. But that also opens me up to potential failing, which I don't want to do 'cause then I'll feel like I wasted my time. But I also know that it's not a waste of time to fail because it's a learning experience. See, this is how my brain works. Like, I feel one way, but my mind says another thing, and they're always contradicting. Why are your 20s the best and the worst time ever? Not

that I hope anybody else is as confused as I am, but I know that people are. I know that it also can seem on social media a lot of the time that everyone has their [ __ ] together, and I'm guilty of that. I'm guilty of looking at other people and being like, how do they know what they're doing? Like, how do you feel so fulfilled? How are you so sure of yourself and what you're doing in life? I don't know if that's the truth or not, and it honestly probably isn't. I think that it's so easy to, especially when you're feeling like you don't exactly know what's happening or you aren't sure of your path, it's easy to look at other people and just assume that they know what's going on. But I don't know if any of us truly do. I've actually never met someone that's been like, No, I 100% know what's going on, and I'm certain of everything. I've never met somebody ever that said that. The only person that can

figure out what I should be doing. The only person that can make a next move is me. Like I suck at making decisions. I'm horrible at it. Why is this in my hands? This I should not be responsible for this, but I am because that's just how it works, obviously. Like I don't feel qualified to be responsible in my own life or to make the right decisions, especially when I don't know how it's going to play out. Nobody knows, we just kind of have to trust the process. But what time does the process start? What's the parking situation at the process? How does one do that? How do you just trust timing? How do you trust yourself? What am I saying? This is genuinely how my brain works. I really don't want to post this because it's so chaotic and all over the place and probably makes no sense. And I feel like I've been talking about absolutely nothing for 20 minutes. But then again, this is how I... This is the reality and most of the time.

when I ramble on and spew [ __ ] out of my mouth for 20 minutes, I don't post it. Cuz it's like, what is this doing for anyone? Why should I post this? Like, but honestly, if one person relates to this, that's all that matters. I think when your thoughts are spiraling out of control and there's so much up in the air, it can be really easy to feel like there's nothing that is certain about your life. And human beings love certainty. We like to feel comfortable in knowing what's going on and having a grasp on our own lives and our own futures. And it's just so easy to go down a spiral and feel like you've lost all sense of control. I was feeling this way last night heavily, and I was on Instagram, and I saw this post from We The Urban. I love this account so much. Like, the posts and quotes and messages that they share are so genuinely helpful, and they make me feel comforted. And I saw this one last night, and I want to

share it with you. It says things you do have: life, the ability to try again, the opportunity to apply Lessons Learned, the option to forgive yourself, people who love you, undeniable Talent, the choice to start creating a mind capable of positive change, dreams and goals to cultivate, the gift of intuition, a body to respect and take care of, the opportunity to make things right, the ability to Envision a better future, the present moment, the capacity to give and receive love, inherent value, reasons to be proud of yourself, a resilient Spirit. That's a fantastic and long list of things that each and every one of us have. When you're feeling uncertain, it's important to be reminded of things like this, the simplest of things we do have, and that this Honestly made me feel empowered. It made me feel like, hold on, I do have valuable resources and things about me and in my life. I am capable of figuring things out. I may feel super lost, confused, up in the air, unstable right now, but I felt like this before and I figured it out. These are

all the things I know to be true. I wish that that would actually make them stick in my mind, but they doesn't a lot of the time. I just have to consciously remind myself of those things. But when I know that I have to make a move and I have to do something because I'm not feeling fulfilled and I'm feeling confused, and the answer to that lies in me actually doing something. I know I have to do something, and I know that the longer I don't make a move, the longer I'm going to feel like this, the longer I'm going to feel hi Charlie. The longer I wait to make a move, the longer I will feel uncertain. And even when I make a move, I'm probably still going to feel uncertain, and the anxiety of all of that makes me not want to do anything because even thinking about it makes me extremely anxious. I question every single thing. I question my own abilities. I question whether something's going to work out, whether it's even the right thing to do, whether it's going to

benefit me in the long run, and this is what keeps me so unsure of what I'm supposed to be doing. If this video is super vague and confusing, that's because this is exactly what my mind feels like. I really need to start reading this book. Maybe I'll start reading this literally today. The Defining Decade: Why Your 20s Matter and How to Make the Most of Them. Now, like girl, I need this. It's so funny that I have this book on my shelf, and I'm sitting here talking to you about my existential crisis, my near midlife crisis about how I am almost 25. I have no idea what I'm doing, even if it seems like I know what I'm doing. I don't. I just never really talk about it. I feel like when things change in life, which they're bound to, it throws me so much. When I think I have a grip on stuff and I think I'm on the right path, life shakes things up and shows me that maybe I'm actually

not and then I question everything. That's where I'm at right now. While the obvious answer to that is probably just like relax and ride it out and Trust the process, and it'll figure itself out. I am such a control freak that the thought of that makes me spiral. I need to know what to do, and I want to make things better, and I want to figure everything out right now because I feel like if I don't, I feel like I'm wasting time, precious time, and that my 20s are the decade that I need to get a grip on my life, my overall purpose, and what I want to do, and what I'm meant to do, and what value I add to the world too. Like to get super deep, what value am I meant to add to the world? What's my place? And I know that I don't have to. Your 20s are just a DEC. Like it's not you have to figure things out in this decade, and if you don't, you're. I know that that's not the case.

but it just feels like it is. It's like a ticking time bomb, and at the end of it, if the alarm goes off and I'm not ready, and I don't feel sure of myself or the rest of my life path, that I've run out of time, which isn't true. I'm having so much fun in my 20s while also having an existential crisis every other month. Don't know how to make that make sense. We're vibing and we're freaking out at the same time. Will I ever feel fulfilled completely in my life, or will I always be searching for the next thing? Is there any one thing that is my thing, or do I not have a thing? Is I always thought that when I graduated from school, I would have my life figured out. Thought that's how it was supposed to work, and here I am. There's so many factors that we have to work around at all times, and there's always new ones being added into the mix. So even when you feel like you've got a

good grip on everything. Something new is thrown into the mix, and you're like, Okay, it just blows everything up. What's the answer to that? That's always going to happen, that's how life works. So what's the answer? What's the solution? How is anyone ever meant to feel sure of what they're doing when there's always something new being thrown in? I know that that's the fun of life, like it's a challenge, it's always problem-solving and figuring out something new, and you can look at that, and I should look at that as a positive, exciting opportunity and challenge. I know that to be true, but then I also know how I feel about it, and what I feel is anxiety. How do I meet in the middle? I don't know, one step forward, three steps back, or 10 steps forward, 10 steps back, feeling like you were making progress and then all of a sudden feeling like you're kind of back to square one is can be so disheartening. To be fair, I think the worst years of my life for

high school and my 20s have been so much fun, but it just feels like the pressure is on for me to find my place in the world and take that place. And it's my, it's up to me, but I don't know. Anyway, this video goes out to everyone else that feels the same way as I just talked about in any aspect of your life. I think everyone feels this way at least a little bit, and I think that it can be really assuring to know that we're all collectively trying to figure it out. Life feels so serious, but it also feels so unserious at the same time. Like, how does that work? How are two complete opposite things always existing at the same time? And what is the truth? Sometimes I feel one way, sometimes I feel another way, but what is the truth? I started this channel when I was in college, my freshman year of college, and you guys that have been around that long, God bless you, you are real ones. And even on who have joined along the way my

whole point has just been to document my journey through life. And if anybody can relate to that, you've got a friend in me that knows how you feel. I think it's important to talk about these things, feeling uncertain, and the fact that things aren't all sunshine and rainbows. I just mean things are all bad, but there's definitely so much confusion and uncertainty and doubt and question marks. And I think that talking about it out loud not only helps other people to feel less alone, but it helps to kind of normalize the fact that life is not perfect, duh. Everyone is struggling in some way, everybody is all the time, honestly, with something. And it's okay to talk about that, it's okay to be honest about that, and it honestly feels good personally to talk about it and to be honest about it because there's nothing worse than just having something brewing in your mind and feeling like there's nowhere for it to go and it can't escape at all. It just sits and it festers in your

mind, and you kind of feel like you have to deal with it by yourself. That's how I feel like a lot of the time with figuring out my life. I feel like I don't want to bother other people with it, and with these feelings and thoughts that I'm having, so I kind of just let them sit in my own mind. And I feel like I just got to figure it out by myself. I realized that thinking that way does not help, and people want to help you. That's another thing, people want to help you. I've never had anyone come to me with a problem or a feeling like this, and I've been annoyed. Ever I love sharing my perspective if that can help. People want to help you if they have experience with something or they have knowledge on something that might be able to help you. They probably want to share it. The only way that you can find that out, though, is by talking about things out loud. Even if it's uncomfortable, it can really help. So that's what I wanted to do today in this

video put everything out there put my feelings out there. Here's to all being extremely confused but figuring it out together. I hope you find some type of comfort in this and support. I will continue sharing my journey obviously as I've been doing for like six years now. I will continue sharing my journey and what I'm learning and that's that. I wish I had answers. I wish I had a conclusion like some advice you know, but I don't. I think my only piece of advice that I'm telling myself and all of you is don't get so caught up in trying to solve every problem or every question mark in your life that you forget to enjoy where you are and notice the moments of joy that exist in every single day and that are all around you. And also, don't forget to notice that you have so much capability. Like I'll put that little graphic on the screen again, you have all these things. Don't let any stress or anxiety or uncertainty completely take over your mind that you don't see all of

these things and you don't see the joy and the fun in life. Also, because that's the whole point of life, is to enjoy it, all right, that's all. I've rambled quite honestly enough. The fact that this is going to be on the Internet is so crazy to me. Usually when I have these periods of being so uncertain, I'm like, this is not something that needs to be on the internet, but here we are today. I actually kind of do feel better after talking about this. If we're being honest, so thanks for listening, if you listened to the end, you're a real one. I don't even know what I just said, but I love you guys, and I will be back next week. I'll talk to you next week, hope you have an amazing day, an amazing week. Hang in there, we're all figuring it out together, individually, but at the same time. I will see you guys in my next video, bye. [Music]

an unfiltered discussion about being in your 20s

an unfiltered discussion about being in your 20s