Stages of Attraction: The Benjamin Franklin Effect Explained

The Benjamin Franklin effect reveals that asking for small favors can boost attraction and change perceptions in relationships.

### The Three Stages of Relationships and the Secrets to Attracting Women
* 💖 Relationships between men and women typically progress through three stages: **mutual attraction**, **love**, and **breakup**.
* 📖 The first stage is marked by **mutual attraction**, where both parties express interest in each other, leading to the second stage of love, where **deeper feelings develop**.
* 💔 The final stage often results in a **breakup**, a common concern echoed in many comments from viewers seeking advice on transitioning from **disinterest to attraction**.
* 📚 A story about Benjamin Franklin illustrates the "**Benjamin Franklin effect**," where asking someone for a favor can **increase their liking for you**, as it creates a **subconscious bond**.
* 🤝 This effect is linked to the **consistency bias**, suggesting that once someone helps you, they are more likely to **continue doing so**, enhancing their **feelings towards you**.
* 💡 The investment equation emphasizes that a woman will **develop feelings for you** as she **invests time and energy** into the relationship, rather than the other way around.
* 🚫 It's crucial to avoid being overly agreeable to favors; doing so may lead to being **placed in the friend zone**, as women often interpret such actions as a **sign of friendship rather than romantic interest**.
* 🕒 Finally, embracing scarcity by limiting your availability can **increase your perceived value** in the dating market, making you **more attractive and desirable** to women.

relationships between men and women go through three stages. The first stage is mutual attraction, where you like the girl, and she likes you. This is the beginning of the relationship. Then comes the second stage, which is the relationship, where you love her, and she loves you. Finally, the third stage is the breakup. Since I started this series, I've noticed that most of you in the comments are facing this issue. People don't know how to turn a girl from I don't like you to I like this guy and want to know more about him. In this video, I'll explain exactly what you need to do. But before that, let me tell you a story. A young legislator in Pennsylvania once faced a political rival who openly opposed him. Instead of confronting him as an enemy, he used a clever strategy to win his favor. He learned that this rival owned a rare and valuable book, so he sent him a polite letter requesting to borrow it for a short time. The man agreed and sent him the book. After reading it, the legislator returned the

book with a thank you note. Something surprising happened after that. The rival who had previously disliked him began to treat him kindly and eventually became one of his friends and supporters. That young legislator was Benjamin Franklin, and from here we got the concept of the Benjamin Franklin effect. The Benjamin Franklin effect is the fastest and easiest way to make any girl like you, regardless of her initial feelings. All you have to do is ask her for a favor. Let's see how this works. When you ask a woman to do something for you and she agrees, it triggers a subconscious reaction. She starts to like you a little more. Why? It's simple. When we perform acts of kindness or do favors for others, our brain tells us that we must like them because we're going out of our way to help. This method also relies on a concept called the consistency bias. Once someone has done you a favor several times, they're more likely to continue doing so to maintain a consistent image of themselves. After all, we all like to think of ourselves as reliable, right?

Here's a tip: ask for small, manageable favors like picking up a pencil, sharing class notes, passing a paper to someone, or running a simple errand. But the reason I wanted to talk about the Benjamin Franklin effect in this video is to explain a much deeper concept, something I like to call the investment equation. We were raised in a society where, from a young age, we were told if you want a girl to like you, you have to be nice and keep doing favors and buying her gifts. This is all nonsense, and I want you to erase this idea from your mind and replace it with this rule: a girl will start liking you when she invests in you, not the other way around. How? Think of it like gambling. The more money you lose in gambling, the more you want to keep going and not stop. The same thing applies to a girl. The more she invests in you, the more she will like you and become attached to you. But if you're the one investing in her, you're the one who will become more attached.

this doesn't just apply to girls, but to all people. The more you invest in someone, the more you value them than they value you. So, I want to send a message to all the overly nice people, my friend. Just because you're being nice and helping someone with everything they ask doesn't mean they'll appreciate you. In fact, you'll end up appreciating them more. Let's get back to women. Here's a golden piece of advice: if a girl asks you for a favor and you agree to do it and help her, then welcome to the friend zone. You must understand that this might seem strange, but unfortunately, it's the reality. If a girl asks you for something, even if it's small, try to find a way to refuse. Why? Because the moment you do a favor for a girl, she interprets it in one of two ways: either you're doing it to win her over and get her approval, and if you've been following this series on how to attract women, you'll know that this is an attraction killer, or she'll

see you as a friend because friends are the ones who help look my friend when a girl is beautiful. Every guy is trying to win her over, and whenever she asks for something, they rush to do it for her. If you agree to do her a favor, you're just like everyone else, and this is not because women are bad; it's just their nature. But if you say no to her, she starts seeing you differently. She won't understand what's going on, and she'll want to know more about you. So, in summary, we've learned about the Benjamin Franklin effect, understood the investment equation, and seen that you shouldn't agree to do favors for her. And all of this can be summed up in one sentence: change your mindset from What do I need to do to make her like me? to What does she need to do to make her like me? Now, there's one last thing I want you to know, and if you combine it with everything I've explained to you, you'll have the perfect formula. But before we continue, let's get this video

to 4,000 likes. This last point is about raising your value. Let me explain how. I want you to imagine that dating is like a Marketplace. Well, in a financial Marketplace, when the supply of something is scarce, it is perceived to be more valuable. In the dating Marketplace, when your time and attention are scarce, you are perceived to be more valuable. This means in the beginning stages of dating, you never want to seem too available for a girl. For example, tell me if this situation sounds familiar. You: Hey, I had a great time the other night. Are you free to get drinks this Thursday? I'd love to, but I'm busy on Thursday. Okay, how about Friday? Can't do Friday either. Saturday? Busy all weekend. Maybe sometime next week? Okay, when are you free? Nothing. Has this kind of thing ever happened to you? And did you realize the crucial mistake you were making? You were too available, and it lowered your value. Look, if you don't understand the game of dating, this situation will make you angry. It's going to feel like she's

stringing you along and playing games with you. That's all logical, but dating isn't logical; it's emotional. Here's what's really happening when you suggest a time and get told no: you are devaluing your time relative to hers, even if she doesn't realize it. On a subconscious emotional level, you are losing points with her, and when you keep asking and you keep chasing, it reinforces that you are more available than her, that your time and attention are easier to get than her time and attention. Therefore, you're less valuable than her. Yeah, I know it's not fair; it shouldn't be that way. People shouldn't play games with each other like that, but they do, and no amount of wishing things were different is going to change basic human nature. Don't judge it; just embrace it, and I'll tell you how to flip that game on its head. Embrace the concept of scarcity, meaning you want to limit the supply of your time and attention in order to keep it valuable. For example, when you're texting back and forth, setting up a date.

always get her availability first before revealing yours. That way, you only have to ask once, and you know the answer is going to be yes. Yes, it's easy. Instead of asking her if she's free on Thursday, just ask her, What's your week looking like? When are you free to hang out? Um, and have the most fun ever. When's a good time for us to have our epic Whiskey Drinking Adventure? Then she'll tell you when she's free, and you pick the time. You get her to reveal her availability first. Another example, when you're talking to a girl you like at a bar, or you're texting back and forth with a girl who recently gave you her number, always be the one to end the conversation first, and do it before you think you should, especially if it's going well. Even if the conversation is going really well and you don't want it to end, trust me, the longer you keep talking, the more she's going to get the feeling that you're not that special. So make it a rule for yourself that you

always say goodbye first. It's for the good of you both. It's easy, just say, getting dinner with friends, and I hate being that guy on his phone. Talk again soon, got to run, try not to miss me too much. I got to go say hi to some friends. Let's talk again soon. Your best bet is to end it on a high note, so she's left with good feelings about you, and she misses the hell out of you. And even though you're not going to say it, you want wondering if there are other girls who are getting a piece of your time when she's not getting it. Trust me, this is a good thing. Look, you're a busy man. You've got lots of cool stuff going on in your life, and lots of cool people who want a piece of your time. There's a huge demand for you and not that much of you to go around, which means the people who receive your time should value it and feel special when they get it. And here you will have the perfect formula to make any girl like you. But there is one

thing left I want you to do. Act like you are already taken by someone else. Do you know that women find married men much more desirable than single men? Why is that? Well, simply due to the fact that married men are beyond their reach. They know that these men are already taken, and that makes it even more of a desire for them. You should cultivate the same actions in your personality. When you act as if you are already taken, she will always go that extra mile to keep your attention. This is the reason why you should act like you're already taken. That way, she will always chase you for attention, but at the same time, you shouldn't show her that you're already taken by someone else to the point where she feels you're not interested in her and has no chance with you. So how do you do that? It's not difficult, but let's talk about it in another video. This was the dark needle. Take care. [Music]

How to Actually Attract a Girl Who Doesn't Like You

The Dark Needle

The Three Stages of Relationships and the Benjamin Franklin Effect

Relationships between men and women go through mutual attraction, love, and then breakup.

The Benjamin Franklin effect suggests that asking a woman for a favor can make her like you more.

This method works by triggering a subconscious reaction and creating a consistency bias, making her more likely to continue helping you.

Asking for small favors can be a powerful tool in building relationships, but the real key is the investment dynamic.

A person's attachment and liking for someone increase when they invest in them, rather than the other way around.

This principle applies to all relationships, and being overly nice and helpful can lead to an imbalance in appreciation and attachment.

In dating, guys often rush to do favors for a beautiful girl, but saying no can make you stand out and raise her interest.

Changing your mindset from seeking her approval to making her work for your attention can be more effective.

Additionally, being less available in the early stages of dating can increase your perceived value and make you more attractive.

Devaluing your time in dating can lead to losing points with the other person, as it creates the perception that you are less valuable.

Embracing scarcity by limiting the supply of your time and attention can help maintain your value.

To do this, ask for the other person's availability first and end conversations before they feel too comfortable, reinforcing your desirability.

Saying goodbye first is important for both parties, leaving a positive impression.

Acting busy and valuable creates a sense of demand for your time, making others appreciate it more.

Cultivating the attitude of being "taken" can increase your desirability and make others chase your attention.