Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone: The Key to Growth and Transformation

Stepping outside comfort zones fosters personal growth and unlocks new possibilities.

### Embracing Growth: The Importance of Leaving Your Comfort Zone
* 🏔 Human beings are naturally driven to grow and achieve greater heights, as exemplified by climbers who ascend Mount Everest simply because **"it's there."**
* 🚀 Our curiosity has led to advancements like NASA and space exploration, reflecting a **deep-seated desire to achieve and continuously grow**.
* 🌱 A critical component to achieving greatness is the ability to **step out of one's comfort zone**, which, although often seen as cliché, is essential for **opening new horizons and possibilities**.
* 🎭 As social creatures, we often conform to societal expectations, which can impede our **autonomy and self-discovery**, leading us to question, "**Am I singing my own song or someone else's?**"
* 📺 The overwhelming influence of advertising and societal pressures can create feelings of inadequacy, making it challenging to recognize our **inherent value and uniqueness**.
* 💔 Tragic events and disruptions, like the COVID-19 pandemic, can force individuals **out of their comfort zones**, revealing **true character** and facilitating **growth**.
* 💪 Personal anecdotes, such as learning to dive, illustrate the **fear associated with stepping out of comfort zones**, but also highlight the **growth that occurs once we take that leap**.
* 🌈 Ultimately, initiating small shifts in behavior and thought can lead to **significant changes in our lives**, encouraging us to **embrace discomfort as a pathway to growth and fulfillment**.

Human beings, by nature, are always striving to grow, to reach greater heights. That's just the way we are. They asked one of the people who climbed Mount Everest, "Why do you climb Mount Everest? Why do you try to reach the top of the mountain?" He says, "Because it's

there." We stared into the heavens and developed NASA and other space programs of different countries simply to satisfy our curiosity. What's out there? Is there life out there? There's something about us that looks to achieve and continuously achieve and grow. But what is the

formula? What's the method to achieving greatness in whatever area you are? So, we hear about persistence, about drive, about ambition, about competition. There's one critical component, one ingredient, that when you learn to master it—and actually, as we'll see, mastering may not even be the right word—

it actually can open up completely new doors, new horizons, new possibilities. And that is getting out of your comfort zone. Yeah, it sounds almost cliché, but it carries a tremendously profound concept. Remember, the very word "comfort" and "comfort zone" tells you that you're

comfortable there, and that's why it's so difficult to get out of there. Why would anyone want to leave a comfort zone if you're comfortable, if you're protected, you feel secure? Why would you venture out and take a risk? And yet, that is the

secret. So, let's talk about that: getting out of comfort zones. As much as we strive for excellence, we also have a need to fit in, to conform. We want to be liked, we want to be respected. We don't want to seem weird or strange or stand out. Yeah, there's

always a certain element of originality, creativity, but within a framework. Out of the box to some extent, but not completely, where you'd be seen as bizarre, as nutty, or worse. Why is that? Because we're social creatures. As social creatures, we need

support, validation, which is a healthy thing. The question is, to what extent? What price are we ready to pay to conform? I'd like to share Oliver Wendell Holmes. I'll call it a devastating poem. "The voiceless." Alas, for those that die with their song still inside them.

Why do we st... How can we die with our song still inside us? It seems so tragic. It's because we sing other people's songs. Let's begin from the beginning. In our young, formative years, as children, impressionable, impacted by our parents, our immediate family, siblings, then by

our schools and educ... and educators, and then by society. All of that, I don't want to use the word "conspires" because it may not be malicious, but it ends up creating a person, meaning you and I, who want to make others happy, and

especially if we have parents who are overbearing, or in any other way very critical, with very high expectations and demands, do we end up singing our own song, or do we sing their song? Healthy parents give you a sense of confidence and security, but they also... and they give you also expectations, but

they also give you a sense of independence, a vote of confidence in your own self-esteem. So, as you grow older, you learn to sing your song, not someone else's. You were born an original; don't become a copy. But we do become copies. And at some

point in our lives, you can ask yourself, who am I? Am I me, my real me, singing my song, or am I literally following and fulfilling the script of someone else? Not an easy question to answer because we can be convinced that it's me, but you're really just doing

something that someone else expected of you, whether, again, intentional or unintentional. In addition to parental, as I said, it's our education, it's our society, it's the media. We're inundated. I mean, today, I don't know the number, but there used to be the

statistic that by the time we're age 20, we've seen or read or watched over a million advertisements. And advertisements are selling you something: a look, an object, a place. That if you do this, if you drink this, if you travel here, if you dress

this way, you'll be a better person. Of course, it has to leave us with feelings of inadequacy. First of all, we can't buy all the products. It's essentially marketing. It has a positive side when it's selling a good product, but a

lot of it is driven, or all of it is driven by commercialization, and a lot of it has nothing to do with your real value. When's the last time you saw a billboard or an advertisement saying you are valuable because you are you? Without

a phone number, and without an address, without an email, without a website or email address. Birth is God saying you matter. Truly healthy, loving people, loved ones in our lives will tell us that. So, no one's investing in you, which makes it so difficult, therefore, to really discover yourself.

and going back to the comfort zone. That's the comfort zone. The comfort zone is what you have in your mindset, and your framework has determined is what you think will make you happy. And it could very well be satisfying others. I mean, obviously, it can go to the extreme

where you're just a pleaser and you loathe confrontation. You'll always retreat, or something in between, a variation of that. Now, it's healthy to have, obviously, friends and community and a social circle and support system that you fit into. That's not what we're discussing.

The question is, how much is it impeding and impinging on your autonomy, on your self? And that's why it so much more emphasizes the need to know how to get out of your comfort zone. Additionally, comfort zones create a situation where there's no

motivation. You're comfortable, you're feeling good. And I can tell you this from my work, which is essentially inspirational, motivational speaking and writing, helping people grow. When somebody is very satisfied, whether they actually are or not, but they think they are, it's very,

very difficult because they say, "My life is fine." I remember when COVID struck in 2020. So, for all the tragedies and the deaths, which I witnessed, unfortunately, as so many of us did, but there was something very fascinating that happened: the

disruption, and, yes, the stripping of our comfort zones and our security blankets. Suddenly, people had it all planned out. They knew where they were traveling for the winter, that winter, and then the summer: going to school, going to work, and entertainment, going to a game, everything.

Suddenly it stopped. It was sad to see in many ways how people suddenly... we lost their bearings, coordinates. You know, the things that always defined my life. I know what I have to wake up in the morning for, going to work. No, there's no going to work

now. Or you have a planned weekend. No, we're getting together with family for the holiday or for whatever. No. No school, kids at home. People were thrust into a whole new environment, out of their comfort zone. It brought out the worst in some, but it brought out the best in

others. And Warren Buffett's words about investment financials, that until the tide is out, you don't know who's been swimming naked, right? Because when the tide is out, everybody seems to be swimming nicely. But then when the tide is in, we're

exposed. And that's when you see who you really are. And that perhaps explains why, often, though no one should ever know this, tragedy, loss, death, other traumatic experiences bring new levels of growth. Because they're like a wake-up call. They force you out of your comfort

zone. Again, no one should ever know that. You would all love to be able to bottle a formula where you can get out of your comfort zone without... without pain. But there's nothing like pain, nothing like loss. Because there, you cannot stay where you are, even if you want to. So, of course,

we all go into a state of denial. But there comes a point where you're forced out of your comfort zone. And I can't resist, always, the... my own personal story somewhat. When I was young, I remember summer came and I had learned how to swim. So, I

was a decent swimmer. But then came one summer I decided I wanted to learn how to dive. I saw good divers, different types of dives: the swan dive, I remember, the, the, the racer's dive, the different dives out there. Just a regular dive? No, nothing. I got on the

diving board in the swimming pool in our bungalow colony, running all excited. As soon as I came to the edge of the diving board, I froze. Froze! Wouldn't dive. "Try it again another time." No. I remember a day passed. "Okay, tomorrow in the morning I'll do it." Then

I realized maybe the diving board is a little too high. Maybe I'm afraid. I'll dive from the edge of the pool. Same problem. Now, I knew how to swim. It wasn't like I was afraid of water. And so what was the problem? What's the, what's the worst thing? You have a

belly flop. You know, there are the myths that after breakfast or lunch you dive, your stomach can burst open. It's not something I believe in. But so what was the problem? A summer passed. I remember the next summer I decided, "Ah, I know, I know what I'll do. Instead of

standing on the edge of the pool, I'll sit at the edge of the pool and I'll just lean in and fall in. And then once I do that, I'll have the courage to jump in standing, then go back to the diving board." Even that didn't work. And I

remember the countdowns. "Okay, I'm counting down. 10, 9, 8…" Okay, we'll count from 100. 100, 99, 98… One count, another count. Finally, here's what happened. A friend of mine had a little compassion for me. He snuck

up behind me while I'm in the middle of one of these counts and just push me in. And that was it, once I fell in, I said, hey then I dived, standing. Then I learned to dive from the diving board and it was all good. I always wondered what was the

problem. Again, if I was afraid of water, it's one thing. And I came up with a theory: in the water I was comfortable, on the ground I was comfortable, but there's that split second you're not on the ground and you're not in the water,

you're out of your comfort zone. It's a split second, but there's some type of subconscious fear because you're suspended. You're not here, you're not there, you don't know where you are, you don't have your bearings, so it creates a fear. Then

I remember hearing from a fellow, the secret to tightrope walking. I've never done any tightrope walking. What's the secret to tightrope walking? Some, most people think it's balance, a lot of training, you balance yourself, you walk on a tight

rope. It's much more than that, obviously balance is important. It's focus. It's finding a focal point that the tightrope walker looks at and makes sure I'm getting to that, to that line, straightest line to that point without wavering. And the tightrope walker who

explained this, the secret, said, "And where do you, when do you think is the most difficult type of tightrope walking, difficult part of tightrope walking?" Everyone thinks in the middle, because you're not at the beginning, you're not at the end, you're suspended in the middle, even if there's

a net below you. You have nowhere to hold on to, he says. No, when you make the turn, because when you make the turn you lose your focal point. You have to create a new focal point on the other side. Again, that focal point is what creates the...

because we've had a focal point, and now we need to find a new one. That's the discomfort, but that's where the magic happens. That's where the growth happens, getting out of your comfort zone. I mean, I cannot tell you how many

people I've advised. And obviously, we have to find what a person's comfort zone is. We'll talk about that and how it's helped. And it could be a small shift. We're not talking here anything dramatic and drastic, a small shift. That small shift

is what opens up new possibilities. We're so... we're so... so, what's the word I want to use? We're so obsessed with holding on to that which holds us, that keeps us safe and comfortable, that doesn't let us really grow. So you don't let go. It's

like the first day you go to school, a child goes to school. You cry. First time a child goes to some camp, everything... something changes. There's a certain fear, the fear of the unknown. And it's all legitimate. We're not trying to suggest that that's

normal. But at the same time, the key to understanding that is when you get out of your comfort zone, that's where the growth takes place. I remember my organization, Meaningful Life Center, it's a nonprofit organization. So in the beginning, I did the work. I taught, I gave...

classes. I did my writing, but I realized for it to grow, we need to raise money. Raising money was getting out of my comfort zone. It was not easy for me, still not easy. I have to ask someone, they can reject me. Fear of rejection, the sense of...

dependency on someone. And as much as I said to myself, you know, 'I'm giving as much as I'm taking and receiving, and it's a good cause.' It wasn't like I'm doing something illegal or something I'm ashamed of. On the contrary, but there's...

something about asking another. But when I began doing it, and I realized the more uncomfortable I was, the more, the greater I became. Not greater as a great fundraiser, but greater because I got out of that discomfort. And I said, 'If you really believe in it, put yourself on the line.'

Yes, you put yourself on the line. I remember vividly when I began. I had a... we had someone, one of, one of the people used to come to my class had experience in fundraising, and he... I said we need to raise a certain amount because I wanted to...

grow. He wanted to get a location, we wanted to expand programming, more people, hire new people. You have to have the money for that. So he said to me, 'Let's create some meetings with some of the people that come to your class. Tell them clearly you want to...

talk about your plans and to get their help.' And I'll help you out. And we did that. We had a meeting in someone's office. 10 people came. I presented the vision then, and then he said, 'We need three things: We need your commitment financially...' If...

you would be willing to consider partnering, bringing someone else in anytime you're ready to give to help out. The reaction generally was pretty positive, but they always pushed back. And I remember once, in one meeting, a woman who I knew for quite a long time,

a very fine person, suddenly got all upset and said, "What was unique about you, Rabbi Jacobson, was you never asked for money. All the rabbis and all the people, they always have strings attached. You, it always was pure, no money involved. And now you're asking. Very

disappointing." And I remember right away having a pang of feeling, like, not guilt, but I felt exactly very uncomfortable. But what she said actually got my juices going, and I said to her and to the others, I said, "You know, you have a good point,

but I think what I was doing till now was staying in my comfort zone and not wanting to be uncomfortable. The fact is, all of you either make money or have money to pay your bills. But you have to do something

about that. We have to raise money. There's no way around it. For me to grow, it's uncomfortable, very uncomfortable. You're making me very uncomfortable." But then I realized, Moses, the great Moses himself, after he receives the Torah, and he is the ultimate content, the ultimate

teacher, the ultimate mentor, and God says to him, "Now go raise money and build a temple, a holy temple." He doesn't delegate it, doesn't hire good fundraisers and directors of development. Get out of your comfort zone!" And Moses himself, because if you believe in it, yes, you put

yourself on the line. And I realized that until now, I was being comfortable and also letting you be more comfortable. And maybe I was cultivating-- I didn't say the word 'parasite'-- maybe I was cultivating people who are just taking without giving. I'm not saying you have

to give, but it's not a fair thing to to say that if, you all the years you've learned from me, now suddenly you're disappointed because I'm saying let's build something. Anyway, I was proud of what I said, even though it was very difficult

for me to do so. Everybody was pretty shocked; they never heard me speak that way. But I went out of my comfort zone. I got a call from this woman later. She says, "You're right. I have issues with money. My father used money in our

family. It was not you; it's-- it was me." And she made a commitment every month for years. She gave every month a certain pledge. So, God, do you get out of your comfort zone? And what happened to me? I could say it opened up new channels. The Meaningful

Life Center would not be what it is today had I not done that. And it was very uncomfortable, and it still is. You know, now we're at the end of the year and have to raise money at the end of the year. This is the time. It's not

comfortable, but it's the only way to become great. So how do you get out of your comfort zone? Well, in my situation, there are examples. You find the cause-- a focal point, I can use that example as well-- you really believe in, and your belief in it, and

Commitment to it is stronger than your discomfort. Like they say, people choose the path of least resistance. If the least resistance is doing something that makes you uncomfortable, it makes you... least resistance means something that makes, that keeps you comfortable, then you're not going to do much. But if...

it's... but if the resistance means that you want to grow, and that growth is more important to you than the resistance of going to raise money, that's what you'll do. Using that example, what I would advise to each one of us, you know...

Sometimes they say about giving, giving until it hurts. But it's not just about financial, it's not just about charity. It's also, so in all of our lives... it's a fascinating chapter, Chapter 15 in the classic book, "The Tanya," where he talks...

about this. He talks about a custom in the earlier times where they would study the text, they would study, they would review it 100 times. That was the custom at the time. Pretty much, how many people review their, uh, studies 100 times? But the Tanya...

goes on and says if someone does that, they're not considered to be someone that's working at it. It's not "yegiah" in Hebrew. It's not effort. There's no effort involved. It's routine, it's your comfort zone. But if you study 101, you go one more than the...

100, that's considered an achievement. Now, this is not dismissing the 100. Firstly, you can't get to 101 without 100. It's not dismissing it, it's just telling us the trap of routines and habits. So I would suggest to each one of...

us and the three areas that I often talk about: the spiritual spa: study, prayer, action. Cognitive, emotional, and behavioral conditioning. Let's begin with the cognitive. If you don't study something every day, begin, yeah, make it a new routine. It's not going to be easy in the beginning

because creating a new routine is getting out of your comfort zone. Five minutes a day, if you're doing it 5 minutes, do it for 6 minutes. Whatever it is that you are doing, do something you have not done before. Same thing in the emotional realm: a prayer, a song, some

emotional conditioning, some emotional experience. And the same thing behaviorally: a good deed, a charitable act, volunteer, share a kind word. Whatever you've done, do something a little more, that's not your usual. Do something unusual, unexpected. It's not about quantity, it's just the shift from 100 to 101, or from

zero to one, or one to two. You will see that it will open up new horizons and new possibilities because what you've done is a qualitative shift. It may be small when you look at it objectively, but for you it's big because it's a

shift, and a shift breathes. A shift in comfort zones breathes comfort zones, which means breathing it breeds staying where you are. If you ain't busy being born, you're busy dying. In other words, you're trying to always create something, push a little. So, number one, it brings you alive,

but also creates new opportunities. Or do they say insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results? I like to put it this way: If you think what you thought, and you say what you said, and you do what you did, what will you have? What you had. So, mathematical.

Certainly, if you think differently, you say something differently, you do something differently, then cause and effect, action and reaction, it will create a different response. This is true across the board. Your marriage is stagnating, another relationship is getting stale? Introduce something new, something fresh, fresh air. Do something that

surprises your partner, surprises the other, surprises yourself. That's how, where the magic happens. That's where things change and shift. But you have to initiate that. You have to be proactive. I mentioned before, sometimes it happens to us, things, events that

happen, especially not pleasant ones, force you out of your comfort zone. But why do you need to wait for that? Why should we ever have that? Initiate on your own. It sounds simple, but implementing is the difficulty because we are trapped in our routines. The book, "The Power of Habit," a few

years ago, makes this case: why are habits so hard to break? Because a habit is a part of the program that your mind creates when it sees you repeat something many times. So it just stores it as a macro, like an automatic pilot that, in the morning, with what you always do is

you shower, you brush your teeth, and the mind says, "Why do we need to process it? I'll just create an automatic process, like pressing a button on the computer." And an automatic sequence triggers a sequence of, of, of, uh, actions and reactions. Once that's already embedded

in our routines, it's very hard to break because the mind has already registered it, and it reserves the real brainpower for new things. So whether it's 18 times that creates a habit, and therefore you need 18 times to break a habit, whatever the number is,

You're trying to break that sequence, which is really a benefit to us, but it works against us when we need to get out of our comfort zone. Say, "I don't have time, I already have a schedule every morning." Why, how could I add five

more minutes? Well, it comes down to priorities, and it comes down to the importance of shifting. So it's the small shifts that create major change, and you see the results. It doesn't have to take years; you can see it pretty quickly. And it's also in

ourselves. It creates the ability to try out new things; makes you young. You're not trapped, as many people say, "I'm trapped." You're not locked, you're not paralyzed, you're not frozen. You have that mobility, that flexibility, that dexterity,

and when you do that, you shift the world around you. One beautiful act, one good word, one nice thought tips the scale, says Maimonides, and brings redemption to you and the entire world. And today, with the scientific understanding of the butterfly effect, the ripple effect, we

know how powerful that can be. So may you be blessed to make those shifts in your life. You're looking for change; people say, "I want change in my life." Initiate change. Think a little differently, speak a little differently, do something a little differently outside of your comfort zone,

and you'll see changes within you and around you. May you be blessed with the courage, with the strength, the determination. And I'd love to hear your feedback about this; please share with me if you'd like, of course, and please share this with others. This message is important to

You please subscribe to our offerings. Meaningfullife.com is our website. Our YouTube channel, please subscribe to that as well. And again, love to hear your feedback and thoughts. Be blessed and be well. This has been Simran Jacobson of the Meaningful Life Center. Thank you. This program is brought to you by

the Meaningful Life Center. Please help us continue our programs. Make even a small contribution at meaningfullife.com/donate.

How to achieve greatness

Rabbi Simon Jacobson at Meaningful Life Center

Humans strive for growth and achievement, exemplified by climbing Mount Everest and space exploration.  The key to greatness lies in leaving one's comfort zone.

The speaker questions the formula for achieving greatness, highlighting persistence, drive, ambition, and competition.

Mastering the art of leaving one's comfort zone is presented as crucial for opening new possibilities.

The difficulty of leaving a comfort zone is acknowledged due to the sense of security and protection it provides.

Leaving one's comfort zone, despite the inherent risk, is described as the secret to growth.

The human desire to fit in and conform is contrasted with the need for originality and creativity.

The conflict between conformity and individuality is explored, emphasizing the influence of parents, education, and society.

A poem about dying with one's song still inside is used to illustrate the tragedy of conforming to others' expectations.

The formative years and the impact of family, education, and society on shaping individuals are discussed.

The pressure to please others, particularly from overbearing parents, can lead to individuals abandoning their own aspirations.

Healthy parenting is described as providing both expectations and a sense of independence and self-esteem.

The importance of self-discovery and being true to oneself is emphasized, urging individuals not to become copies.

The influence of media and advertising in shaping perceptions of self-worth is analyzed.

The overwhelming number of advertisements individuals are exposed to and their impact on creating feelings of inadequacy are highlighted.

The commercialization of self-improvement and the pressure to conform to external standards are critiqued.

The speaker challenges the lack of messages promoting intrinsic self-worth in advertising.

The rarity of genuine affirmation of individual value without commercial strings attached is noted.

The difficulty of self-discovery in a world focused on external validation is emphasized.

The comfort zone is defined, and its connection to lack of motivation and fear of change is explained.

The importance of social connections is acknowledged, but the speaker cautions against letting conformity stifle individuality.

Comfort zones are linked to a lack of motivation and a reluctance to embrace new experiences.

The COVID-19 pandemic is used as an example of how disruption can force people out of their comfort zones, revealing both strengths and weaknesses.

The pandemic's disruption of routines and plans is described, highlighting the loss of bearings and the challenge of adapting to a new environment.

The analogy of the tide going out is used to illustrate how challenging times can expose true character.