Do not die in someone else's misery. While there are countless ways to self-sabotage, sometimes our problems are not generated by ourselves but by the people around us. As Nietzsche wrote, one person is enough to create discouragement and cloudy skies for an entire family, and it is a miracle if such a person is absent. Happiness is not nearly as contagious as a disease. There is an emotional osmosis among human beings. And as Nietzsche points out, this osmosis is particularly strong when it comes to negative mental states. But the dangers of a poor social ecosystem are not limited to absorbing some anxiety, pessimism, or anger. Instead, our social environment can affect us in more perverse ways, and one of them is acting as a barrier to self-realization. The reason is simple: if everyone around us is living below their potential, if family members, friends, and colleagues are passive, apathetic, overly anxious, or chronically worried, it will be very difficult for these individuals to believe they can be different. For this reason, breaking free from an unhealthy social world can be a necessary first step towards unfolding our inner potentials. And becoming more self-realized or, in Carl Jung's terms, a more individualized man or woman. One may wonder, Jung writes, why it is so desirable for a person to be individualized. It is not only desirable; it is absolutely essential because through

His contamination with others, gets involved in situations, and takes actions that bring back disharmony within himself. And he acts contrary to his own nature. Consequently, a man cannot be at one with himself or accept responsibility for himself. He perceives himself as being in a degrading, unfree, and unethical situation. But the disharmony within himself is precisely the neurotic and intolerable condition from which he wants to be liberated, and liberation from this condition will only come when he can be and act, feeling that it is in line with his true self. Acting in accordance with our true self is a lifelong task. And doing so while surrounded by corrupting influences turns this task into one of Herculean proportions. If we feel that the social world we occupy is frustrating in this aspect, what can we do about it? The ideal solution is to find a new social world to transition to. One that is made up of people who build us up, and who possess the traits that we wish to cultivate. Spending more time with people who are on their own path of self-realization can be a great way to encourage us to do the same. But sometimes this ideal solution is not possible. For many people in this state of disharmony in modern days, finding a healthy social world to integrate into can be quite difficult. If we cannot find a better social world to transition to, then another option is to reduce the time we spend with other people and spend more time alone

Since an empty life devoid of interpersonal relationships is usually seen as a safe path to mental deterioration. But a retreat into a more solitary existence, if used constructively, is an excellent way to foster personal growth and manifest a more meaningful life. The ability to be alone, Anthony Storr wrote, is a valuable resource when mental attitude changes are required. After significant alterations, in circumstances, a fundamental reevaluation of the meaning and purpose of existence may be needed. In a culture where interpersonal relationships are generally seen as providers of answers to any kind of distress, it is sometimes difficult to convince well-intentioned individuals who want to help that solitude can be as therapeutic as emotional support. Solitude promotes self-change, freeing us from the needs and expectations of others, and on the other hand, allows us the internal reflection necessary to better understand who we are. But solitude is also the ideal state for the use of our imaginative faculties, and it is our imagination that leads us towards what is possible and shows us what we can become. Suppose I begin to be dissatisfied with my usual way of being, Storr wrote, or I feel that there are areas of experience or self-knowledge that I cannot reach. One way to explore this is to remove myself from what surrounds me in the present and see what emerges. This does not happen without its dangers, any form of new organization or integration within the mind.

It must be preceded by a certain degree of disorganization. No one can say, until they have experienced it, whether this necessary break from established patterns will be overcome by something better. One way we may decide to reorganize the patterns of our lives is to stay more permanently away from the relationships that marked our past, and concentrate our energy on cultivating a vocation and a purpose in our lives. While many in our modern world view interpersonal relationships as the primary source of meaning in life, our culture may have become too determined on this issue, and in the process may have neglected another important central axis around which a meaningful life can be built. As Storr explains, I am less convinced that intimate personal relationships are the only source of health and happiness. In the current climate, there is a danger in idealizing love as the only path to salvation. When Freud was asked about what constitutes mental health, he gave as his answer the ability to love and work. We have overemphasized the former, and paid too little attention to the latter... exclusive focus on interpersonal relationships has led to a failure to consider other ways of finding personal fulfillment. In his book Solitude: A Return to the Self, Storr details the lives of many famous individuals who took the same path of orienting their lives around their work as the axis, and who in the process, created meaningful lives. Writers like Beatrix Potter and Anton Chekhov grew up in terrible social conditions.

But after falling into an absolute abyss of hopelessness, they discovered meaning through their work and learned that the creativity and inner order it promotes can be an effective antidote to the external disorder of a sick social world. Storr points out that there are also countless individuals who do not suffer from a particularly harsh social environment but still choose to make an interest in their work the main axis of meaning in their lives. Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud, two men who dedicated their lives to studying the factors that promote human flourishing, are two individuals who chose this same path. It is certainly remarkable, writes Storr, that when they wrote their biographies, the two most original analysts of the 20th century barely devoted any space to their wives and families, or indeed anything else apart from the development of their respective ideas. Both An Autobiographical Study by Freud and Memories, Dreams, Reflections by Jung are exceptionally uninformative about the authors' relationships with others. We could applaud their discretion and sympathize with their desire for privacy, but we can also rightly conclude that their own account demonstrates where their hearts were focused. If we choose to follow this path and use this retreat into solitude to reorient our lives around the axis of a vocation, this process can also be the means to a more fulfilling social life, finding a way of work that is intrinsically satisfying and then taking the necessary time to become good at what we do.

We will become more secure in ourselves and less in need of validation from others. In other words, we will become more functional men or women, and in the social world, at least in terms of mental health, like attracts like. The more we move towards self-realization, the more we will gravitate towards others who are doing the same. Furthermore, as we become more self-sufficient and less demanding of other people, as is the case with those who find meaning in their work, our existing relationships may also improve as a direct result. Storr explains: Our expectation that satisfying intimate relationships should ideally bring us happiness, and that if they do not, there must be something wrong in these relationships, seems exaggerated... Our idealization of interpersonal relationships in the West may be what causes marriages, supposedly the most intimate bond, to be so unstable. If we did not look at marriage as the primary source of happiness, fewer marriages would end in tears. This retreat into solitude is just one of several techniques we have explored through various past videos, which can be used to promote our mental health and improve our lives. Many people, after hearing such things, may feel a momentary sense of optimism and a boost of encouragement, but then quickly return to what they have always done, no change is made, and life goes on as before. In the final video of this series, in an attempt to counteract this passivity, we will provide a way to frame our lives that may encourage

and braver in our actions. For the mistake that many of us tend to make, which is to overlook the fact that sometimes the most serious dangers are not presented to us by change, but rather by the decision to remain the same. Why do people continue to repeat the same self-destructive behavior? wrote Alexander Lowe. To answer this question, I would compare the individual to a shell. Breaking away from a character is like being born, or more accurately, being reborn. For a conscious individual, making this move is terrifying and seemingly dangerous. The cracking of the shell is equivalent to a confrontation with death. Living in the shell seems to guarantee survival, even if it represents a severe limitation on one's life. Remaining in the shell and suffering seems safer than risking dying for freedom and joy. This is not a consciously well-thought-out position.

Solitude and Self-Realization: Why You Should Spend More Time Alone

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Solitude and Self-Realization: Why You Should Spend More Time Alone

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