[Music] excuse me, chap, but this is an old friend of mine, John Watson. Mike, can I borrow your phone? I'm sorry, I left mine in my coat. Oh, here. Here's mine. Oh, thank you. Jo's looking for a roommate. Also, you could stay with your brother, I suppose, if his aggressive drinking didn't bother you so much. Excuse me, your brother? He's an alcoholic who recently walked out on his wife. I don't even know your name. You just met me. How could you possibly know if I have a brother or if he left his wife? The engraving, the engraving on your phone. Harry Watson, a family member, but not your father. That's a young man's gadget. Could be a cousin, but you're a war hero who can't find a place to live. Unlikely you've got an extended family, so brother it is. How could you possibly know about the drinking? Shut in the dark. Good one, though. Power connection, tiny little scuff marks around the edge of it. Every night he goes to plug in to charge, but his hands are shaking. He'll

never see those marks on a sober man's phone. Never see a drunk's without them. Good Lord, that's remarkable and completely wrong. What? Everything you said was wrong. You're saying that I'm... that I was wrong? Nothing you said was correct. Everything I said was correct. No, this is my dad's phone. But that's a young man's gadget, YP. It's my dad's. He gave it to me when he upgraded. What about the scratch on the phone? Don't mean anything. They're just scratches on a phone. It's a very small hole. Sometimes people have trouble plugging it. Didn't. Yeah, I don't drink a drop, and I have the same scratches. Well, then I can tell by the yellow markings on your jacket sleeve you had a sandwich for lunch. Messy mustard deli. And what I want to say was rye bread, the common choice for a man dressed as well as you are. White bread, far too common for someone who selects such well-hem trousers with, I would say, turkey, honey smoked, yet the

discoloration in your eyes leads me to believe you have a vitamin B12 deficiency, the vitamin most easily found in meat. So, I'd rather say honeysmoke tofu as you are and have always been a vegetarian. Nope, pardon, not a vegetarian. As a matter of fact, I had souped for lunch, which is pretty much the exact opposite of a sandwich. Wait, even I knew he had soup because I could smell it on him. Shut the up, Mike. Right, well, it was a pleasure meeting you. Wait, before you go, why don't we sit down for a spot of tea? No, thank you, OB. The Twitch in your brow has betrayed you. You are a coffee drinker. I prefer tea, just not thirsty. Homeschooled London central, heavy smoker, never in my life, heterosexual, I curious, black. What, you are a black man? No, black woman, really. [__] oh, uh, well, hey, hey, hey, no, listen, say you want to go look at some Flats. Let's go look at some Flats. Yes, I found a great listing for

something on Baker Street, not for the dog and pony show. Yeah, great, great, great. You blink approximately every 12.2 seconds, a trait of someone uncomfortable with extended silence, leading you to believe that you came from a noisy household, parents fighting, no squabbling regularly, but your shoulders are relaxed, leading me to believe you had an extracurricular activity to blow off steam, one you've had since childhood. But look, not a strong upper body, so I'll say dance at first, simple sachet foxtrots, but you needed more, didn't you? That's when you met the B boys, mastered the robot, the lawnmower, the fish. Additionally, the way you grip your cane suggests a high degree of martial arts training. Your tan implies you recently fought in a wi Thai tournament in Singapore, but your knees are hyperextended, not scrunch, so you flew business class. The inflight movie was Madagascar 2, escape 2 Africa. You liked it, but didn't love it. Naturally, the flight attendant Trish offered you pretzels or peanuts. You chose peanuts.

but the sadness in your eyes reveals that you regretted it immediately after. Yes, really, really. You really are a master of deduction. Oh, thank God. Wait a minute, you're just saying that to make me feel better. Yes, aha, I caught you in a lie. I knew it, you were plating me. Yes, boom W, that's how you deduce, baby. I read your face, I read your stupid face. Yeah, suck it. The name, by the way, is Herlock Shones, isn't it? Sherlock Holmes. Shut the up. [Music] Mike

Sherlock Holmes Sucks at Deduction

Scripts