[Music] kill me. We're nearly done. She's three. It's already right. Um, last one, last one. Come on, guys. Our next presenter starred in Netflix's Bird Box, a movie where people survive by acting like they don't see a thing, sort of like working for Harvey Weinstein. You did it. You. I didn't. You did it. Shut the [ __ ] up. Please welcome Sandra Bullock. That's it. Good night. Thank you. Please donate to Australia. Have a great time. Get drunk. Take your drugs. [Applause] foreign [Music]

lifting her leg and licking her own minge. [Applause] Verbal, verbal, she's old school. Um, just the last time, who cares. Oh, Apple roared into the TV game with a morning show, a superb drama. Yeah, a superb drama about the importance of dignity and doing the right thing, made by a company that runs sweatshops in China. So well, you say you woke, but the companies you work for, I mean, unbelievable. Apple, Amazon, Disney. If ISIS started a streaming service, you'd call your agent, wouldn't you? So, if you do win an award tonight, don't use it as a platform to make a political

he's doing hanging around theme parks. He's not big enough to go on the rides. Tiny right. The Irishman was amazing. It was amazing. Um, it was matter of fact my fear. It was great. [Music] Long but amazing. Um, it wasn't the only Epic movie. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood nearly three hours long. Leonardo DiCaprio attended the premiere and by the end his date was too old for him. So [Applause] even Prince Andrew's like come on Leo mate you know you're nearly 50 son. Um, the world got to see James Corden as a fat [ __ ] he was also in the movie Cats but no one saw that. Um, and the reviews oh shocking. I saw one that said this is the worst thing to happen to cats since dogs right. But Dame Judy Dench defended the film saying it was the role she was born to play because she I can't do this next joke because she loves nothing better than plonking herself down on the carpet.

so in the end, he obviously didn't kill himself, just like Jeffrey Epstein. If you have to make your own way here in your own plane, didn't you, right? But seriously, most films are awful, lazy remakes, sequels. I've heard a rumor, but there might be a sequel to Sophie's Choice. I mean, that'd just be Meryl Streep going, Well, it's got to be this one then. All the best actors have jumped to Netflix and HBO, you know, and the actors who just do Hollywood movies now do fantasy adventure nonsense. They wear masks and capes and really tight costumes. Their job isn't acting anymore; it's going to the gym twice a day and taking steroids, really. Oh, we got to have an award for most ripped junkie? No, no point. We know we'd win that. Um, Martin Scorsese, the greatest living director, made the news for his controversial comments about the Marvel franchise. He said they're not real cinema, and they remind him of theme parks. I agree, although I don't know what

care many talented people of color were snubbed in major categories. Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do about that. The Hollywood Foreign Press are all very, very racist. So, fifth time. So, we were going to do an in memoriam this year, but when I saw the list of people that had died, it wasn't diverse enough. It just, no, it was mostly white people, and I thought, nah, not on my watch. So, maybe next year, let's see what happens. No one cares about movies anymore. No one goes to the cinema. No one really watches Network TV. Everyone's watching Netflix. This show should just be me coming out, going, well done, Netflix, you win everything, good night. But no, no, we gotta drag it out for three hours. You could binge-watch the entire first season of Afterlife instead of watching the show. That's a show about a man who wants to kill himself because his wife dies of cancer, and it's still more fun than this. Okay, spoiler alert, season two is on the way.

[Music] thank you [Applause] [Music] [Applause] hello oh thank you thank you hello and welcome to the 77th annual Golden Globe Awards live from The Beverly Hilton Hotel here in Los Angeles. I'm Ricky Gervais. Thank you. um you'll you'll be pleased to know this is the last time I'm hosting these Awards so I don't care anymore um I'm joking I never did um NBC clearly don't care either fifth time so I mean Kevin Hart was fired from the Oscars because of some offensive tweets hello lucky for me the Hollywood Foreign Press can barely speak English and they've no idea what Twitter is so I got offered this gig by fax so let's go out with the bang let's have a laugh at your expense shall we remember they're just jokes we're all gonna die soon and there's no sequel so yeah remember that um but you all look lovely all dolled up you came here in your limos I came here

the first award is for Best Actor in a Television Series Musical or Comedy. To present the award, a couple of actors. I have to tell you what can I say. Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon. In a little while, we're gonna see a short clip from The Irishman. Um, it's 88 minutes long. [Applause] In the meantime, here are Sofia Vergara and Matt Bomer. [Applause] Welcome back. Still having a good time. Good as you know. The meal tonight was all vegetables, as are the members of the Hollywood Foreign Press. Please welcome their President, Lorenzo Soria. [Music] Now has three nominations tonight. Yeah, see what can happen if you don't dress people up as cats. It's that easy. Here are two of the nominated stars, Anna De Armas and Daniel Craig. I've got nothing negative to say about these next two presenters because the big one could snap me in half. So please welcome Zoe Kravitz and Jason Momoa. [Applause]

in a limo tonight, and the license plate was made by Felicity Huffman. So, no shush, it's her daughter. I feel sorry for her, okay? That must be the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to her. And her dad was in Wild Hogs, so lots of big celebrities here tonight. I mean, legends, icons. Yeah, look at this table alone, Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, but baby Yoda. Oh, that's Joe Pesci, sorry. Um, I love you, man. Don't have me whacked. Um, but tonight isn't just about the people in front of the camera. In this room are some of the most important TV and film executives in the world, people from every background, but they all have one thing in common. They're all terrified of Ronan Farrow. He's coming for you. He's coming for you. Look, talking of all you perverts, it was a big year. It was a big year for pedophile movies. Um, Surviving R. Kelly, Leaving Neverland, Two Popes, shout out, shout out. I don't care. I don't

Ricky Gervais – Golden Globes 2020 (Uncensored, HD)

Scripts