if you're feeling lost in your 20s, then this video is for you. So, I'm 29. It's the last year of my 20s, which is so weird to say. You never really feel like you're getting older, and you never want to be that cliche, that cliched older person being like, Ah, enjoy your youth, you're getting older, enjoy it, we're withering away, we're all decaying, enjoy the last of it. You never feel like it. You never really feel like you are that person or you'll become that person. Yet here I am, the end of my 20s are approaching. It's so weird. I can't explain it. I swear to god, I was like an 18-year-old filming youtube videos in my college dorm room yesterday. That [ __ ] crazy. I don't understand it. I'm just gonna allow this video to be a very open free space where I just talk about what I've learned, what I've been through, obviously from my perspective and my very unique situation.

but I hope it still resonates with you. Just a quick friendly reminder that I am going on tour next week, October 19th, Los Angeles, Minneapolis, Houston, Chicago, Orlando, New York. You can meet me on tour for my new book, reserve your tickets, place a pre-order, all on connorfrantabooks.com. Thank you. Should we um, no, we're not doing this, no, not those either. There's absolutely no doubt in my mind, your 20s are incredibly significant. So if you feel like your 20s are very heavy and they're giving you constant whiplash, frankly, they are. I'm a completely different person than I was at age 20. Completely different. Like, I mean, frankly, I was, I was in the closet at 20. I was a straight at 20. I had yet to really develop any strong individual opinions or really any individuality at all. I relied a lot on my friends in my early 20s. I relied a lot on people around me to tell

me what to think and to tell me who to be, and it wasn't until the middle of my 20s that I started really taking hold of my own self, my own future, my own thoughts, my own beliefs, and honestly, it's the perfect time to do that. You've most likely seen a little bit of the world, you've most likely met a unique set of people, and you can start formulating your view on all those things. So I advise you, and I know this isn't easy for everyone, but I advise you to see the world. I advise you to go on that road trip with your friend, to go to that country with your school, as many opportunities as you can take, even just to see a new city in your own state or a new city in your own country. Take it, go have a different perspective, see a different way of living. It really develops your take on the world, and exactly the same with meeting new people. Meet as many people and listen to them.

as much as possible. Getting comfy. Here we go. I'm an introverted person, so it's really difficult for me to meet new people and automatically open up to them, to be my full self with new people. But some of the best times in my life, some of the most memorable times, are the times that I did that, the times I just said, Forget it, we're going out and we're gonna have a big night. Or, and this is just a me thing, I one time I went to Africa with a charity, and it was with like 15 people I had never met. And the idea that I, that me myself, went to another country without knowing anybody or really what I was doing is lunacy. And it's some of the best memories I ever had was taking that chance and just like going for it, because at the end of the day, like, what's the worst that could happen if you take a chance? Well, I mean, you could die.

but really, taking chances are the only way that 
you are going to discover new aspects of yourself. You're not going to find yourself doing the same 
thing every single day. Switch up your routine, 
switch up your life. Change, change, and change 
again. Not this again. I blame a lot of this on 
movies, frankly. Movies make it sound like your 
20s are going to be the most exciting, thrilling, 
the peak, the absolute peak of your existence. 
Parties and luxury and money. All these films 
set truly an unrealistic expectation on a 
majority of people. Like a majority of people 
are in heavy debt. A majority of people can't live 
the way that they do in the movies. So naturally, 
you're gonna feel let down. I can see why so often, 
myself included, I just feel like I'm not living 
up to my own expectation. And that's because 
it's not even my own [ __ ] expectation. 
It's the expectation put on me that I didn't ask 
for. The government, capitalism, brainwashing. It's

not our fault. Interrupting you for a quick break and a word from this video's sponsor. BetterHelp. Is there something intervening with your happiness or preventing you from achieving your goals? Well, then BetterHelp can assess your needs and match you with a licensed professional therapist within 48 hours. That's pretty quick, not gonna lie. It's not a crisis line and it's not self-help. It's professional licensed therapy done securely online. What I think is personally amazing is that they have over 20,000 therapists within their network, and each has a broad range of expertise. They're available worldwide. All you have to do is log in online and send a message to your therapist. You can schedule weekly videos or phone calls, and the best part is you don't have to wait in an uncomfortable therapist waiting room. Trust me, I know they're not fun. Also, another wonderful part is they make it easy and free to change therapists if you don't have a great match with the one that

you have it's more affordable than traditional therapy, and financial aid is available. BetterHelp just wants you to start living your happier life today. My viewers and my channel get 10% off that first month, so make sure to click the link down below and go over to betterhelp.com/connorfranta. That's betterhelp.com/connorfranta, and join the over 1 million people taking charge of their mental health with an online professional today. Thanks so much, back to the video. Your 20s do not have to be the greatest time in your life. They don't. They don't have to be the glory days. They don't have to be the only period in your existence that you fondly look back on. That's a choice, and it's a choice I'm choosing not to make. I think the older you get, the better life can be, the more that you'll know, the more that you'll know yourself, the more interesting you'll become.

because of all of the experiences that you've had, 
the knowledge that you have gained along the way, that sounds pretty fun to me. I don't know about 
you. Again, I am the poster boy of privilege here, so I just was just pointing that out yet again. 
Make tons of mistakes, make all the mistakes. I mean, like maybe not on purpose. Don't go around ruining 
everything, but if you find yourself in a situation 
where you've really messed up, you've really done 
something wrong by all accounts, learn from it. 
Learn from your mistakes. Every time something has 
gone wrong in my life and I've corrected it, I just 
know that I'm most likely never gonna find myself 
in that situation again because I know exactly how 
I got there. And ultimately, not right away, 
trust me, not right away. Screw anyone who says look 
on the bright side right away, but eventually 
and inevitably, I'm almost always thankful 
that I messed up, almost always, most of the time. Be 
reckless, like not too reckless, but do things that

make you feel uncomfortable. Most of my regrets come from the times that I didn't do the bad thing that I got close to. It, I almost touched it, but then I walked away. Slowly, I can think of times that I've been offered drugs. I can think of times that I was asked to go to warehouse parties at 4 am, go get a spontaneous tattoo in another country. Is someone really mowing the lawn right now, ma'am? I'm trying to fail, and ultimately, sometimes I'm like, Connor, you should have just done the drugs. You should have regretted the night before. You should have gotten the weird tattoo. I'm honestly like, those are the things that shape a person, the times that they have done the semi-crazy thing. Life is so short, and you get to pick the path that you're on. The thing that's deemed crazy and the thing that's deemed abnormal is [ __ ]. It's fake. That's someone's interpretation of life. It doesn't have to be your interpretation.

money in your 20s is a difficult one because 
part of me wants to say if you have some spend it,   blow it all on fun things. There'll be more money 
in the future, just spend it because you have   it right now. But then the other part of me 
says save it, invest it, use your money wisely,   be an adult. And I think that's my rotted 29-year-old 
brain, and my 21-year-old self is like stop him,   somebody stop him. It is rare that I regret 
spending money on an experience. It is frequent   that I regret spending money on a possession, 
plane ticket to Montana, love it, fantasize   about it. Designer shoes that will ultimately 
go out of style within the next couple months,   pain, pain, and dread. You're going to make a lot 
of friends in your 20s, and you're also going to   lose a lot of friends, and both are good things. 
People are going to come into your life, and

they're going to exit your life, and that is 
natural, and that is normal. It's okay to wish   that some would stay longer, and it's okay to wish 
that some had never, never been there in the first   place, but what i've learned is that you 
won't find the best of them, you know, the   right friends, the ones 
that get you, the ones   that are there for you for the highs and lows.   If you don't go out and look for them, Jesus [ __ 
] Christ, here we are, another minute with another   weed whacker. Why does this only happen when I 
when I turn on the camera? Real friends, the ones   that will be there for you at your lowest lows 
and your highest highs, they'll be there laughing   with you, they'll be there crying with you. You may 
not find those in your 20s, you may find those in   your 30s or even your 40s. You have a whole life 
to live, and anything can happen along the way.

it's so hard to fully encapsulate this decade of your life because it is so turbulent. One day you feel like you're on top of the world, and the next you feel like you have no idea what you're doing. And that is so normal; no one has any clue what they're doing, not just in your 20s, in every stage of life. We're all just making it up as we go, we're all just winging it and hoping for the best. Despite what the internet may make you think, no one has it perfect, no one has a secret formula to the best life possible. Some people are just better at making it look easy or making it look pretty, or they too have been given way too much privilege. Ultimately, I think people need to stop putting so much pressure on themselves. You have an entire life ahead of you; this is not the only moment worth living. So stop putting so much pressure on yourself, but while you're here, you might as well have a [ __ ] amazing time. You might as

well do the crazy thing go on the road trip with your friend. You might as well kiss that stranger in that bar. You might as well get incredibly drunk with your friends on a school night. Like those are the times you won't forget. You may regret them but you won't forget them. It's the last year of my 20s and I think ultimately I'm just gonna make it count. If you enjoyed this video, make sure to click the thumbs up and leave a comment down below. Where are you at in your life? Are you in your 20s? Are you out of your 20s? What do you think about this period in your life? Let's have a discussion in the comments down below. If you're new to my channel, click subscribe, turn the notifications on. I make videos all the time. I'm constantly on Twitter, on Twitch, on Instagram. Connor Franta on the mall, go follow me. My new book, House Fires, is out in a week. Pre-order it at conorfrantabooks.com. I will love you.

forever thank you thank you thank you and I hope this helps some of you. I hope this makes you feel a little bit less alone, a little bit less loopy or uneasy. You'll get through it, trust me. Anyways, I love you. I hope you're doing well and I will see you super soon. Bye. What is happening? Hello.

it's not you, it's your 20s

it's not you, it's your 20s

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